Self-control is one of the important components in the emotional intelligent. It is because managing emotions has direct implication on our lives. It is not hard to prove the theory as with piles of self-help books on managing emotions being published every year. Self-control can improve our relationship with others. Firstly, it can help us keep our head cool when we encounter critical problem either in work or study. A person who cannot control his emotion often makes decision reflexively without thinking at the first place. This kind of person is often being described as hot-headed, rash or impatient. They always get carried away by the moment and do not act at their own best interest. This has caused them making unwise decisions under the pressure and sometimes spending their money poorly. Secondly, people with good control of emotion always have a better relationship with others than those with nothing. Impulse control (anger) is always the primary target to control. It is mainly because of the human nature of preferring to hear good things or feel good. Uncontrolled anger often makes people feel bad and have negative recognition of that person. However, positive emotion such as happiness is sometime being suppressed depends on the occasion. For example if one of friend gets low mark for the exam, the one with higher mark might need to suppress his happiness in order not to hurt him.
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5 comments:
From the topic sentence and the content of the paragraph its clear that you are talking about self control. Yes, I too think having control over one's mind is a vital ingredient of emotional intelligence. To my knowledge, I see that your paragraph is well structured and the flow of ideas is logical. But, there is a need to improve on the conclusion of your paragraph. Your last sentence gives an example and this is not a good way to end a good paragraph. May be you can conclude by restating some of the key points and hence not leaving the reader on an abrupt ending. :)
This paragraph starts out well, but as your classmate has stated, the ending is abrupt. You present lots of good info here in a logical fashion illustrating how important self-control is, but you need to conclude.
Another small problem appears in this sentence: "It is not hard to prove the theory (of the importance of self control)as with piles of self-help books on managing emotions being published every year."
For me, there is a logic problem here. Does the existence of many books about Singapore ghosts confirm that such ghosts exist?
You also need to be careful about overgeneralizing, as you do here: "Secondly, people with good control of emotion always have a better relationship with others than those with nothing." How could you qualify this statement to make it more accurate?
In any case, thanks for your solid effort here!
Hi, I enjoy reading your paragraph very much as it guides me well. However, I realise that the question to this paragraph is " choose one of these(self control, optimism, etc) and discuss why it is an important trait for a fulfilling life". Perhaps you can use the phrase "fulfilling life" in the opening of your passage or topic sentence or restatement sentence so that your paragraph answers to the question perfectly (:
Hi, I suggested that you can have variation in the structure of your sentences. For example, you have two sentences start with “It is” in the beginning of your paragraph. May be you can make some changes or re-structure the sentences to improve the language.
Here are some grammars to be point out for you.
“It is because managing emotions has direct implication on our lives.” I would like to use “in our lives”
“It is not hard to prove the theory as with piles of self-help books on managing emotions which have being published every year.” I would like to add a “which have” there to make the sentence more understandable, since it is refers to the books there.
“This has caused them making unwise decisions under the pressure and sometimes spending their money poorly.” I would like to use “may” instead of has.
thank you very much guys!!
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